


All About…Tristan (A Tristan Character Study)

by China_Rose



Series: Knight Character Studies [1]
Category: King Arthur (2004)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-24
Updated: 2013-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-16 00:49:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/855881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/China_Rose/pseuds/China_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tristan reveals his inner thoughts</p>
            </blockquote>





	All About…Tristan (A Tristan Character Study)

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N 1:** The Knight Character Studies were written for a writing challenge on the King Arthur Fan Fiction Group.  
>  **A/N 2:** I would like to point out that I absolutely adore Tristan and I want to assure you that no Tristans were hurt in the writing of this story. By the way I love Lancelot too, I just wanted to niggle him a little today.  
>  **Beta:** Thanks to my beta, Thoks, for taking the time to look at this. It’s good to have you back and working your magic on my stories.  
>  **Reviews and Comments:** Always welcome  
>  **Disclaimer:** No money involved here at all. Believe me if I could make money from writing I wouldn’t be writing fan fic.

[](http://photobucket.com)  
Banner by Melissa, 2004

**A Tristan Character Study**

**NAME:** Tristan. Well Sir Tristan actually. Sir Tristan, son of this bloke I haven’t seen since I was twelve, valiant Sarmatian warrior and knight of the Round Table of Lucius Artorius Castus’, or Arthur, as we like to call him. I sound important, don’t I? You make sure you tell Lancelot I sound important. I think he thinks I’m daft ‘cause I talk to animals, well birds anyway. You see I have…what you only wanted my name; oh. I told you my name. It’s Tristan. No, not _Tristran_. No, no _R_ , just **_TRISTAN_**. Well not _just_ Tristan ‘cause I’m important. What? Oh, answer the next question?

 **LIVING ARRANGEMENT:** A big fort on Hadrian’s Wall. Well I don’t live in the whole fort, I have a room. So I live in a room in a fort on Hadrian’s Wall in Briton. It’s not very big but it will do, after all if I was home in Sarmatia I would be living in a tent. Tent’s can be drafty, I don’t like drafts, and they can make you sick. I don’t like being sick. My room’s not drafty ‘cause there are these shutters on the windows to keep out drafts, tents don’t have shutters. So my room doesn’t get drafts and I don’t get sick. I don’t like drafts you know. Ah, excuse me, but you wrote that down wrong. I said... _I don’t like drafts_ , but you wrote, _I am daft_ …all right, all right, you’ll fix it later. Next question?

 **FAVOURITE PASTIME:** Talking to the bird, knife throwing, archery and sword fighting. What? What does the bird talk about? No the bird doesn’t talk, animals can’t talk, are you mad? If I had a talking bird, Lancelot would know I’m important ‘cause I’d be special, magical. No I just talk to the bird. Why? ‘Cause it thinks I am important, so I talk to it, feed it and pats it. If I do all that, it scouts for me. What? How do I know what it says? I don’t know what it says!! It’s a bird. Then why I am I using it in battle to scout if it can’t talk? Because I bloody well can. Why? I don’t know! If it can’t talk and I don’t know what it says, then yes, you’re right, maybe I should just get rid of it. I know I shouldn’t take my pet bird into battle; yes it does seem cruel now that it is pointed out to me. Yes, if I died it would die too ‘cause no-one would feed it…what? Where am I going? I’m off to free the bloody bird. Oh after the interview, all right.

 **FAVOURITE BOOK:** What’s a book?

 **THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS:** Wearing my armour. It feels good and I look important. 

**THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS:** Needing to scratch but I can’t ‘cause I am wearing my armour and, the itch, it’s right underneath and if I tried to scratch I’d probably fall off the horse and then I would hurt myself and still need to scratch, even though I was hurt. Very serious that would be, and very itchy too.

 **FAVOURITE SMELLS:** Bors after a bath. That man is ripe sometimes and when he is clean, well, it’s just the best smell. Shame it doesn’t last.

 **WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING:** Morning? Glory, oooh where did that come from???

 **BATTLE: SCARY OR EXCITING:** Yes. I like it both ways.

 **FAVOURITE FOODS:** Apples. Though sometimes Gawain gets this weird look when I am eating an apple, like he wants to just rip it out of my hand and one day I even offered him a slice, but he said he didn’t like apples and that he had to go polish his sword instead. Why he looks at me like that really does confuse me and I normally don’t get confused. Though there was this time I fell off my horse. You see, I was trying to scratch under my armour and I fell and I did get a little confused …What? Why do I like apples? ‘Cause I like to get that round, hard, fruit in a firm grip and polish it, making it all shiny before cutting a thin slice and tenderly putting it in my mouth. Sometimes if it is a very juicy apple, I have to suck my fingers to clean away the apple nectar that oozed from the thin wedge. Hmmm, I just like apples. No it’s not a ritual it’s just the way I eat them. No I don’t think it disturbs anyone when I eat them, except Gawain, but he doesn’t like apples, so what’s the problem? Next question please.

 **CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA:** What’s chocolate? For that matter what’s vanilla?

 **STORMS, COOL OR SCARY:** I like them both ways too.

 **FAVOURITE DRINK:** _Sarmatian Sunrise_ …a few of these and you sleep through the night and when you wake up it’s like the sun has exploded in your eyes and your stomach feels like it’s rolling, up and down, up and down...What? Why would I drink something that makes me unconscious and then sick? ‘Cause it reminds me of home, too much sun, no shade and endless bare undulating hills. It is a place where you often wish someone or something would knock you unconscious just for a change of scenery. Well it’s either that or a _Roman Rocks-Off_ and who wants to feel like their balls just exploded? It’s bad enough when they ache, let alone burst.

 **IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE:** Rome wouldn’t be an Empire and I wouldn’t be here on this soggy little piece of land that’s filled with Woad raiders, Saxon invaders and a lot of rain. Can I have one more thing? I wish I _could_ talk to the bird and then Lancelot would think I’m important ‘cause I would be magical.

 **IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE:** I wouldn’t be a scout and then I would have people to talk to instead of the bird.

 **HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE:** I like Dagonet but don’t tell him. It’s a secret. My secret! *Sigh*, he’s my secret love. What? Why don’t I tell him? I’m _not going_ to tell him! Do I look stupid? Don’t answer that. I’m _never_ going to tell him. I want him to kiss me not kill me. NEXT QUESTION, this one was stupid anyway and don’t you tell Dagonet.

 **IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL:** What’s a glass? However, the idea of anything being half empty is not a good one. After all, I never carry half my arrows in battle and I always make sure my Sarmatian warrior spirit-possessed stallion has a full bag of food and I never eat just half an apple and I prefer to drink a whole tankard of wine and then fill it up again. None of this half full stuff. Fill it up, use it up, and fill it up again.

 **WHAT'S IN YOUR ANXIETY CLOSET:** What’s a closet? What? What makes me anxious? Oh, the fact I admitted to a perfect stranger that I not only like one of my friends, but that said friend is a knight who is older and bigger than me, and is also a man, and he will probably come down here and bust my balls and believe me it won’t be with that _Roman Rocks-Off_ drink either.

 **WHAT'S YOUR LOFTIEST DREAM:** Sometimes I dream that I am flying with the bird.

 **WHAT'S YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE:** I fall to the ground, ‘cause people can’t fly you know!

 **WHAT DO YOU WISH PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT YOU THAT YOU FEEL THEY DON'T:** I’m actually quite outgoing, but everyone thinks that as I work as a scout that I am aloof, solitary. Not so. I am a sociable being, I like to be in there, not out there and I like to talk. That’s why I talk to the bird; no-one else wants to listen. See you’ve listened to me and you know that I am not quiet. I am an interesting person, after all I am a knight of the Round Table, I’ve fought in battle, I am widely travelled and I relate well to animals. I have things to say, things to share, they should listen to me I am Sir Tristan, I am important.

 **WHAT OTHER KING ARTHUR CHARACTER WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ANSWER THIS QUESTIONNAIRE:** Lancelot, so I can discover what daft things he has to say and then I will know that I am just as important as he is. 

 

**The End**


End file.
